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The Keys to
Building Self Confidence
By Robert Kokoska
Many of us know that we would benefit from
increased self-confidence; after all, a lack of it is easy enough to identify!
If you lack self-confidence, you are more likely to let people treat you badly
or take advantage of you. You might also have a tendency to fall short of your
real potential at work or school, or in your interpersonal relationships. If any
of these descriptions sound like you, chances are, you need to work on your
self-confidence. But actually building self-confidence can be a long road - it
isn't as simple as it sounds. Here are some tips for building self-confidence to
get you on your way.
First, the key to self confidence is to love yourself, and this can be difficult
if you weren't raised with a sense of unconditional love or support. That
doesn't mean that your parents didn't love you - but some may have had trouble
showing it, or they may have been so anxious for you to grow up 'right' that
some disapproving messages were sent out. As children, we pick these up
unconsciously, and grow to beleive them. To build self-confidence, it's time to
let go of self-critical thinking. Wherever you are at the moment is a fine
starting point. There is no need to criticise or berate yourself for what you
percieve as your deficiencies.
Second, identify what you are really good at and enjoy, and perfect that skill.
The better you are at what you do, and the more positive feedback you recieve,
the higher your self-confidence will be. Many of us have the perception that we
don't enjoy working hard - this usually isn't the case if the work you are doing
is right for you. Once that happpens, you will likely feel confident, skilled
and productive.
Finally, a great way of building your self-confidence is to occasionally
challenge yourself, maybe even doing things that scare you a little now and
then. Start small - do something you haven't done before, but that doesn't take
you too far out of your personal comfort zone. Then, build on that. As you start
taking more chances and becoming more adventurous, your sense of self will
expand. If you really enjoy life and the work you are doing, building
self-confidence should be a natural by-product. It becomes something that
evolves on its own rather than something you work on, and the rewards will be
great in all aspects of your life!
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