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The Keys to Building Self Confidence
By Robert Kokoska

Many of us know that we would benefit from increased self-confidence; after all, a lack of it is easy enough to identify! If you lack self-confidence, you are more likely to let people treat you badly or take advantage of you. You might also have a tendency to fall short of your real potential at work or school, or in your interpersonal relationships. If any of these descriptions sound like you, chances are, you need to work on your self-confidence. But actually building self-confidence can be a long road - it isn't as simple as it sounds. Here are some tips for building self-confidence to get you on your way.

First, the key to self confidence is to love yourself, and this can be difficult if you weren't raised with a sense of unconditional love or support. That doesn't mean that your parents didn't love you - but some may have had trouble showing it, or they may have been so anxious for you to grow up 'right' that some disapproving messages were sent out. As children, we pick these up unconsciously, and grow to beleive them. To build self-confidence, it's time to let go of self-critical thinking. Wherever you are at the moment is a fine starting point. There is no need to criticise or berate yourself for what you percieve as your deficiencies.

Second, identify what you are really good at and enjoy, and perfect that skill. The better you are at what you do, and the more positive feedback you recieve, the higher your self-confidence will be. Many of us have the perception that we don't enjoy working hard - this usually isn't the case if the work you are doing is right for you. Once that happpens, you will likely feel confident, skilled and productive.

Finally, a great way of building your self-confidence is to occasionally challenge yourself, maybe even doing things that scare you a little now and then. Start small - do something you haven't done before, but that doesn't take you too far out of your personal comfort zone. Then, build on that. As you start taking more chances and becoming more adventurous, your sense of self will expand. If you really enjoy life and the work you are doing, building self-confidence should be a natural by-product. It becomes something that evolves on its own rather than something you work on, and the rewards will be great in all aspects of your life!

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