How closely are happiness and self-esteem related? Psychologists say that our personal happiness, success and our relationships with others are dependent on our level of self-esteem. Research shows a high correlation between happiness and self-esteem.

We are all capable of increasing our self-esteem, but how do you get to a point where you have a genuine, deep rooted sense of self and an authentic, healthy self-esteem.

First off, only associate with positive, supportive people. When you befriend or try to form a relationship with negative people who put you down, your self-esteem is lowered. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better about yourself.

Understand that self-esteem has nothing to do with how you look on the outside, but how you feel on the inside. You don’t have to be a super model to have high self-esteem, you just have to realize that you are a lovable capable person. Accept yourself for who you are and others will too. Loving yourself and being loved by others is not about what your are, but about who you are.

Never compare yourselves to others. We are all human, we all have our shortcomings. Its how we deal with those shortcomings that makes the difference. People with low self-esteem may look down on them selves or engage in negative self-talk, while people with high self-esteem may look at it as a challenge to overcome or may simply tell themselves "This must just not be who I am" and move forward with no regrets.

Experts agree that positive self-affirmations are a great way to boost self-esteem. You can’t start every day by telling yourself that you are a wonderful lovable person. To take this a step further and confirm those feelings by practicing this in your everyday life. Following are some examples of how a person with high self-esteem versus someone with low self-esteem may handle certain situations:

A Failing Relationship – A person with high self-esteem may tell themselves that maybe they just aren’t right for each other or realize that the person they are with isn’t appreciating them for who they are and take the necessary steps to move on. While a person with low self-esteem may take it personally and do everything in their power to try and please their partner, believing that they must not be good enough or if they change to try and please the other person it may work out.

In the Workplace – By not getting the advancement you were hoping for or landing the job you had your eye on a person with high self-esteem may look at it as a challenge, using constructive criticism to increase the skills they feel they are lacking. A person with low self-esteem may look at it as a personal failure and tell themselves they are just not good enough or smart enough.

By using these examples you can learn to use criticism to your advantage instead of letting it get the best of you.

To further exercise your self-esteem skills I would highly recommend "The Complete Self-Esteem Workbook" by Dr. Robert Anfield. No matter what's happened in the past, no matter how you feel right now, the future can be different..... But the future will only be different if you do something different in it.