By Lisa Branigan.
More than two-thirds of visits to
doctors’ surgeries are for stress-related illnesses. Stress has been
linked to headaches, backaches, insomnia, anger, cramps, elevated
blood pressure, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia and lowered
resistance to infection. For women, stress is a key factor in hormonal
imbalances resulting in menstrual irregularities, PMS, fibroids,
endometriosis and fertility problems. Stress can also be a factor in
the development of almost all disease states, including cancer and
heart disease; the leading cause of death in Australian women.
In most cases stress is a result of
letting life get out of balance. This happens when we put all our
energy into only one or two areas of our life (usually work) and
ignore the rest. We take on too much, over-promise, don’t delegate
and push our own wants and needs into the background by always looking
after others needs first. We overload ourselves to the point where we
are forced to stop attending to what is important to us, such as time
for our interests and time to spend with our families.
If stress is a major issue for you
there are steps you can take to restore balance to your life - so you
can stress less and smile more.
Step One: Develop extreme
self-care Most people suffering stress have become good at practising
extreme self-neglect! They don’t eat well, rarely exercise or take
time out and probably can’t remember the last time they had a
holiday.
If you are one of these people you need
to take your self-care to new heights, above and beyond your normal
limit. When you take care of your own needs first you are building a
reserve of energy and resources that will enable you to sustain
extreme self-care with enough left over to care for others.
Creating 10 delightful daily habits
that give you enjoyment is a great place to start. Here are some
suggestions.
• Stretch for 2 minutes. • Laugh
for 5 minutes • Floss your teeth • Read to a child • Hug a loved
one • Go for a 10-minute walk in the park • Listen to your
favourite song • Write in a journal • Eat 3 fruit and 5 veg •
Read a chapter of your favourite book • Drink 2 litres of water •
Go to bed early
The key to gaining accumulated benefits
from your daily habits and practising extreme self-care is to do them
each day. Start with one habit and commit to practising it for seven
days, then add another, practising both for another seven days.
Continue adding your habits until you are practising all 10 items on
your list daily.
Step Two: Eliminate tolerations
Tolerations are situations and conditions you put up with that drain
you physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. They include
crossed boundaries, unfinished business or projects, others' bad
behaviour, frustrations, unwanted commitments, clutter, messy
surroundings, broken items, being over weight, weeds in the garden and
debt.
List five tolerations that drive you
nuts about your job, life, and health and home and then devise a plan
to get rid of the first 'intolerable' toleration on your list this
week. Notice how this makes you feel, how it lifts a weight off your
shoulders. Now think about how much better you will feel when you get
rid of the other four tolerations on your list! When you’ve
completed the elimination of the first five tolerations you've listed,
start a new one and keep working until you have zero tolerations in
your life.
Step Three: Having your needs
met! Unmet needs cause us to become upset, angry, stressed and
depressed. The key to satisfying our personal needs is to identify
them. Identify needs that feel authentic, not ones that may look good
to others or are superficial. Be aware that what you consider to be a
need (such as to be loved) may be covering a real need (self-esteem).
Ideas of personal needs are:
• Calmness • Freedom • Being
listened to • Independence • Feeling valued • Stability •
Respect • A life purpose • Satisfying work • Honesty • Loyalty
• Being busy • Security • Being loved • Balance •
Responsibility • A career • Children
It may be necessary for you to tell
others what your needs are and learn to ask for support.
Step Four: Smile often and laugh
more! Scientists have found that laughter stimulates the release of
beneficial brain neurotransmitters and hormones, which can reduce
stress, improve our immune system and give us a general sense of
wellbeing. Some doctors are using laughter therapy to replace
anti-depressants and to reduce the use of painkillers. According to
researchers faking laughter will also produce the same health and
wellbeing results as real laughter.
Do you need to improve your ability to
laugh more? Bronwen Williams from Laughter Works Australia recommends
that upon waking we should to sit upright in bed or in a chair and
smile vigorously and ridiculously. This muscular action induces the
release of endorphins and within minutes we actually feel happy!
Bronwen writes that: “Positive
self-talk can be very empowering, so let's begin our days with loud
statements such as I love laughing! People love hearing me laugh!
Laughing makes me happy and healthy! I have a beautiful smile! Lets
express not suppress, lets laugh and live longer!”
Step Five: Set Goals Without
goals we have no direction in life. We are lost! When we are lost we
become stressed and overwhelmed. Goals help us navigate our lives with
greater ease and reaching goals fulfils us, making us happier.
One way to find out what your real
goals are is to write a list of 100 things you’d like to accomplish
before you die and then start working on your list today!
When you set a goal it tells your
subconscious mind what is important to you and to be on the lookout
for things, people, opportunities or situations that will enable you
to move towards your goal. Establishing goals is a tool we can use to
have what we want and need in our personal and professional lives.
Step Six: Create a supportive
environment Our surroundings can be supportive and give us energy or
drag us down and leave us stressed and tired. An inspiring, enjoyable
environment filled with positive things and people energises us and we
feel happier. We all need good support structures to help our lives
flow with less effort and to remain balanced.
Five important life support structures
are:
• People: family, friends, life
coach, accountant, doctor, housekeeper • Places: your office, desk,
car, home • Things: your phone, computer, home decor • Processes:
filing system, record keeping, time management program • Inner
Environment: your outlook on life, self-esteem level, thought
processes
Examine these five categories and look
at who or what you use to support you in each area. Are you truly
being supported? What do you need to change to feel more supported in
all areas of your life?
Start making the easiest changes first.
Just as it can take time to end up stressed, overwhelmed and out of
balance, it also takes time to make positive changes in your life.
Sometimes trying to implement change (even for the better) can itself
cause stress and prevent a person remaining motivated.
Making changes in your life can be
stressful, even if the changes are aimed at reducing stress. For this
reason it is important to work on each of the steps one at a time,
mastering each before moving on to the next. If you discover you
can’t make the changes on your own, get support from a counsellor,
doctor, naturopath, friend, peer or life coach who specialises in
stress issues.
Above all, keep in mind the benefits
you will enjoy when you’ve mastered the steps to stress less and
smile more!
BACK
Keywords: stress reduction, stress
management, life balance, happiness, self-care, wellbeing, health
About the Author
Lisa Branigan, Margaret River
lisa@quantumcoaching.com.au
http://www.quantumcoaching.com.au
Lisa Branigan is a Stress and Energy Life Coach working with busy
women who are stressed, tired and overwhelmed. Her coaching sessions
provide women the necessary support, encouragement and understanding
needed to create changes and bring balance to their life and health.
Lisa is the publisher of "Life Solutions" a free monthly e-zine
providing tips and information on self-care and wellbeing for women.
